Author Archives: The Marriage Connection

As mothers we believe we have superpowers. We think we have X-ray vision, super human strength, and flight that will help us travel at super human speed to rescue our children.

But what happens when we realize that our very own imagined superpowers are actually our kryptonite?

Relying on my superpowers means I refuse to rely on God. I have to rely on God’s plan not my own. This is very difficult as a parent. In fact, it feels counterintuitive. Parents plan everything for their children from the school they’ll attend, the clothes they wear, the activities they participate in to what they’ll eat.

We find ourselves trying to control the narrative of their lives. When we release that control and rely on Jesus we learn that His plans are better than ours. The outcomes is always better when Jesus is in control. The lessons our children learn are far more tangible when we allow God to guide the process.

Is it difficult? Yes! It’s difficult but there is peace that happens when you use the superpower of prayer and petition. When you release the anxiousness of managing ( aka controlling) all the moving parts and you choose to pray instead you activate the peace that transcends all understanding plus it will guard your heart and your mind.

The key to remember is you can’t have it both ways. You can’t control and expect peace. You can’t expect peace if you’re not willing to pray.

Philippians 4:6-7

I always find it so amazing when I think that God, in His great love, created me. He not only created me but He delights in me.

Have you ever had someone make such a fuss over you that it makes you feel uncomfortable? I imagine that God delights in me even more than those that make a fuss over me on my birthday, Christmas, Valentines Day, and my anniversary all wrapped up together. Can you imagine?

When God says in His Word He delights in me that’s more than just welcoming me. That’s loving all of me. It’s taking an interest in every part of me and everything that do.

Do you know that you’re loved?

You are. God loves you right now where you are and He is delighted to love on you, to build you up and strengthen you each day. How do I know he delights in you ( and me)? Just take a look around. Look at all the love He has shown you through the everyday beauty of life. Look at the love He has shown you through the way He cares for you each day.

You are loved. God delights in you. Embrace His love. Spend time this week looking at all the ways He exhibits His delight.

Psalm 37: 23-24 (NLT)

I’d like to think I am not a jealous person . I’d never say I was envious of anyone . But something happened a few weeks ago and God opened my eyes to my jealousy and envy. He helped me to see, through scripture and the Holy Spirit, that I am jealous sometimes and I have to be mindful of the envy in my heart.

My jealousy is rooted in a lack of humility that makes me think I deserve something . I realized that my desire to have my friend’s stuff or situation was ungrateful. Many times we look at other people’s lives and assume that we want what they have: A great marriage, great children, smart children, beautiful cars/homes….. and the list goes on and on. What is it about what you and I have that’s not enough? Is it not enough for us or for the others we’d like to impress?

My attitude about what I didn’t have in this situation wasn’t reflecting Christ. I was being selfish. Wanting her “stuff” is an act of not considering her interests first but considering my own interests. My own way, my wants and my needs were foremost in my mind as I looked at her great blessing.

So the next time you wish you had what she has , ask yourself, in that moment, if you’re putting your interests before her blessing. Ask yourself why you are thinking of yourself when you should be excited for her?

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2:3-8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

https://www.bible.com/116/php.2.3-8.nlt

To hear more about how the Lord opened my eyes on this topic, go to my podcast at the home menu in the top right corner and click on podcast.

You can also find it on Apple and Spotify:

Apple podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-with-charlotte/id1563547046

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/0ucRkVO12WLbBVcrmK8kyj?si=6LQsB8y1S6KCRpj4UzzYDw&dl_branch=1

Feel free to follow me on any of the 7 platforms ( Google podcasts, Breaker, PocketCasts, Radio Public, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Anchor) where my podcasts are featured.

Please be sure to share with a friend.❤️

It is an individual disorder that collectively effects those close to the person.

In this week‘s podcast, we talk about what it means when you’re not able to bounce back from feelings, emotions and moods.

When my son broke his arm, I remember taking him to hospital. He couldn’t quite articulate the depth of his pain because it was so much pain his five year old brain didn’t have the vocabulary to describe the hurt. When a friend or family member doesn’t have the vocabulary to articulate exactly what they feel when they’re not feeling themselves you can support. You can support them by giving them the freedom to feel openly and speak their feelings.

Because I’ve seen mental illness upfront in friends and family I can tell you there are no words to describe the hurt you feel for them as they struggle through difficulty .Mental Illness is both individual and collective. It is an individual disorder that collectively effects those close to the person.

Loving a friend and a family member is knowing when you’re beyond your scope and helping them get what they need to address their difficulties. The helplessness you feel as a friend is minuscule compared to the person experiencing the symptoms .

Be sure to check on your friends when they seem to be pulling away.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. As promised, I have added resources for you access if you need them or share with family and friends.

If your in crisis, please call:

National Prevention Lifeline

(24/7 free and confidential support)

1-800-273-8255

NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness: Get help learning how to support family and friends suffering

https://www.nami.org/Home

Celebrate Recovery: Christ Centered 12-step program ( access your local resources here):

https://www.celebraterecovery.com/

Women’s Health: Postpartum depression

https://www.womenshealth.gov/mental-health/mental-health-conditions/postpartum-depression

I had a great conversation with an older women last week. She was telling me about her son and how she had to relocate to help him raise his family due to an issue within the family . She explained how they, more specifically , her son has chosen not to return to their hometown. He can return but he made a choice not to return so he could make better choices in his life.

I thought this was interesting because I can think back over my life about the number of times I should have stayed away but continued to go into a situation, to say that thing that I should not have said or even been with that group of people. We’ve all had those moments when we know that the thing we are doing is not pleasing to God but we do it anyway. We seek to please our feelings, our flesh and our friendships more than the Father.

If you’ve ever gone to church you’ve heard about repentance. It’s word that’s mentioned and thrown around often. But do we really understand what repentance is or how it works? Repentance is when we have sincere regret or remorse for something we’ve done. It’s not just having the remorse and regret it’s what we do with remorse and regret that creates repentance.
Repentance is not just a thought or feeling but it’s an action. The action of repentance is where you choose to talk to God about the choice you’ve made and then ask for forgiveness.

The hardest part about regret and remorse is not repeating the same choice.

The hardest part about regret and remorse is not repeating the same choice. Most of us will repeat the same behavior again and feel the same regret and remorse. So when does the change happen? The change happens with obedience . The change happens when we ask for forgiveness and help with the habit, the choice, the thoughts and actions.

That’s when real life change happens. When we ask Jesus for His help.

Repentance, forgiveness, and obedience in change is not a comeback- it’s a process.

For more encouragement, go to the podcast here:

https://anchor.fm/lifewithchar

Have you ever looked at the woman next to you driving down the street and wondered about her life? Have you ever looked at old pictures of yourself and reminisced about the time you had at a party or at the beach?

Don’t forget that you’re are valuable. Because you are valuable that means your story is valuable also.

So often we don’t tell our stories because we think that our stories aren’t valuable. But we are valued and our stories are important to the kingdom of God.

I encourage you to look at yourself and get comfortable with your story and then tell someone. I encourage you to look back at all the ways God has repaired you, restored you, and revealed himself to you – then tell someone

There’s someone God has placed in your life that will need to hear it. They will need you to walk along side them and share your story to help them through their journey.

I pray that you’ll have a great week and a wonderful Mother’s Day.

For more encouragement on telling your story, go to the the podcast:

https://anchor.fm/lifewithchar/episodes/This-is-your-story-Happy-Mothers-Day-e108u5e

In this episode, i’ll be talking about the importance of your story and telling your story to other women. Also, I’ll dedicate few minutes to wishing you all a happy Mother’s Day. Enjoy!

Is it just me? I know that God has given me this dream, this calling, these gifts and talents. He’s cultivated me to fulfill what he has put in me. So, why am I so worried? God knitted us in our mother’s womb. He’s planted seeds, dreams and desires in our heart. Yet, we worry and we fret. Sometimes We never pull the trigger on the seeds He has planted or the dreams He has given us. It took me a while but I realize that those seeds, those dreams, those desires-those are my calling.

From a a very very young age I knew I wanted children and I wanted a family. I had a great desire to be a wife and a mother. But, I didn’t feel like that was enough. There had to be more to me than just being a wife and mom, right? As if those aren’t incredibly hard jobs. But, no. I had to want to be more. God is so amazing and because He called me to be a wife and a mother eventually that’s exactly what happened. Not only did I become a wife, I became a mother five times over (including one by adoption).

God allowed me to go to college and gain additional skills and talents that I now use in ministry for children, marriage and families.

Looking back at how God weaved all the events together I can now see the miracle of His work and how His hand was guiding me the whole time.

As women, God has given us our personality, our desires and goals and dreams. So when the Holy Spirit prompts you to work towards what He has shown you how do you react? If you’re like me you may question, doubt and even worry. You may have to take time to took back and see the hand of God like I have finally done. You may delay and decide “not now”. That seems to be the common response among wives and mothers.

But I challenge you to heed to the calling that God has on your life. Do the work of being obedient in whatever it is that God has shown you. Be careful to not overthink and analyze the calling so much that you talk yourself out of it. Don’t allow your thoughts and insecurities to keep you from going after what you know that God has shown you. Be sure to prayerfully seek His guidance and direction. Be certain to lean on Him more than yourself. You can’t see where this is going. But, God is already there.

For a little extra encouragement go to the podcast.

Take a moment and let me encourage you as a wife, a mother and a friend. This week we will focus on pushing back perfectionism and comparing yourself to others.

A little encouragement for mothers, wives and friends who’ve made mistakes and beat themselves up over past failure. Plus, I’ll talk about what empathy looks like in our daily struggles for our children, fellow mothers and friends.

Ways to listen :

Google Podcasts

Pocket Casts

Radio Public

Spotify